You would think that if you had a mess of felony warrants out for your arrest in three states, carried a bogus driver’s license and had also jumped bail, you wouldn’t want to stretch your neck out too far.
You’d kind of want to just hunker down and keep clam, right?
Not Skippy — or whatever his real name is.
About two weeks ago or so he drew the attention of a sharp-eyed Washington game warden while he allegedly did donuts on prized shellfish beds and in the surf near Ocean Shores.
It’s legal to drive on the beach, but Officer Warren Becker thought he might need to check on things, so he stopped the rig, inside of which were a woman and four kids.
“When asked for his ID, the driver provided a driver’s license that had the name SKIPPY,” WDFW Law Enforcement reported on their Facebook page today.
Maybe the nickname for Skip D. Bail? Skip D. Town?
“As expected, the name came back with no record,” WDFW reported.
Perhaps if he’d used Skippyjon Jones or Jif or something else this all might have turned out differently, but with that ID now in question, Becker asked for the woman’s just to make sure she could legally drive the rig and children back home.
Things were about to get as bad for Skippy as an ultralow daylight opener is for those denizens of the South Coast’s sands.
“After running her information it turned out the female passenger was a protected person in a domestic violence no-contact order,” WDFW reported. “However, the respondent was a different person other than SKIPPY. The respondent also had numerous felony warrants and was considered to have high violent tendencies.”
Becker wasn’t so sure he should let everyone go on their way until he, er, dug to the bottom of Mr. Skippy’s identity, so he called in reinforcements.
“Working with the other responding units, Officer Becker was able to make a positive match to the actual name of the respondent in the no-contact order by using physicals, tattoos and Department of Licensing photographs,” WDFW said.
He wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near his copilot, but that wasn’t the worst of it.
“It turns out SKIPPY had multiple felony warrants in two adjoining states and 14 pending felony charges in Washington, including assault 2nd, forgery, money laundering, theft 1st, trafficking in stolen property and bail jumping,” WDFW reported.
Add using a fake driver’s license to the list.
The guy was booked into the Grays Harbor jail on all the warrants and violating the no-contact order, the agency said.
Take it from the razor clams you spun donuts on, Skippy, some days it’s just better to stay in your own shell, because now it’s looking like you’re about to be cooked.